I always start a new blog or diary in exactly the same way.
Every few months or so, I’ll feel compelled to a begin a new journal, adamant that this time, this time, I’ll be consistent. So, I’ll go out and buy a shiny new notebook, or spend hours crafting a new blog. And I’ll admire the blank white pages, pristine and smooth with so much promise, just ready and waiting to be filled. I’ll promise that this time, I’m in it for the long run. And I’ll believe it, too. I’ll begin each time with the best intentions of keeping up my entries, and I’ll succeed for a while.
And then, as always, I get distracted. And by the time I return to my shiny new book, the white blank pages are more intimidating than exciting.
If there is only one consistent thing about me, it’s most probably that. I, the eternal daydreamer, am very easily distracted. I was going to call this new blog scatterbrain, but thought better of it.
Instead, I called it Dormiveglia. It’s a beautiful, little known word that defines ‘the space that stretches between sleeping and waking’, the state when someone is either half awake or half asleep.
For me, it’s the time when the most beautiful ideas can come to mind. When you’re neither asleep nor awake, when your mind is filled with something between thoughts and dreams, and when, sometimes, magic can happen. I think it can, anyway. Some of the best lightbulb moments I’ve ever had for my stories have happened during this time.
So, as this is my first blog post, I’ll tell you a bit about me. My name’s Chelsea. I’m 21 years old, and I’m a writer.
Well. I fancy myself as a writer.
Truth be told, the main purpose of this new blog is to get me more committed to writing. Because in my head and in my heart, I am a writer. It’s just high time that I started putting pen to paper. Or fingers to keys.
I have a story. This story has been in me since I was 17. For four years, I’ve written little bits and pieces, planned the central story. This year, I even quit my job as a copywriter to finally write the book. And yet, true to form, I got distracted.
I came up with all these new, exciting ideas. I decided I was going to set up my own eBay shop. I paint in my spare time, you see, so I came up with the brilliant scheme that I could sell things online. So I rushed out and bought canvases, and paints, and ceramic mugs, and pens, and every other thing I could need. And of course, if I was serious about this, I would need business cards. So I made some of those. Double-sided, double the price. But it didn’t matter that I barely had any money, because it would be worth it.
You know the kind of drunk people who come up with these far-flung, pie-in-the-sky brilliant schemes when they’ve had a few too many, and talk you through each step of their serious plans, impress you with their conviction, and assure you that, yes, they are in fact deadly serious. And then, a few hours later, they think of an even better plan?
That’s me. No alcohol needed.
So, essentially, after quitting my job in September, I found myself two months later, surrounded by enough craft gear to open a hobby shop, and only a few pages worth of new material for my book. I realised that even after ridding myself of all the excuses I claimed were in my way, I simply made more. Or just kept myself busy with other things. Or just got distracted. Again.
What I needed was a kick up the arse, and a plan.
Enter the blog.
I figured if I could commit to writing a blog post every day, then I could commit to writing a piece of my story every day. Or at least doing something writing-productive. I like writing film treatments/scripts too. Major film geek. Goes with the whole escapist vibe I’ve got going in my life.
Whether it’s a line, a chunk, a character description, or something outside of the story, I’m going to try and write something every day, in addition to a daily blog post.
Most times, I probably won’t even be writing about me writing. Just about life. I’m a socially awkward English Literature graduate, who’s also a film/comic book geek (most of my paintings are fan art). I dream of becoming a writer, director, and maybe even an actress, if I ever get up enough confidence to try (another part of the master plan).
Mostly, I’m going to try and actually become the person I already am in my head, however ridiculous that may sound. Because it’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me. Yes, I did just quote Batman. Because he (or Rachel, I guess) had a point. The only people I have ever told about my story, and by extension, everything I really want to achieve in my life, are my mum and my brother. I haven’t told my friends, and I didn’t tell my boss that was the real reason why I was leaving. But it can be a tough thing to keep hidden. How can I expect anyone to understand me, like me or know me at all when I’m keeping perhaps the most important part of myself a secret? It’s certainly the part I most like about me.
Yes. My blog is probably going to get deep like that a lot, so beware.
So, this is my first post. I’ll start writing in here daily from January 1st – new year, new blog and all that. For now, I just wanted to introduce myself and say hey, I guess, and that, with all the best intentions in the world, I really am going to try.
See you in a month.